European Political Elite "Headless Chicken" Crisis Talks

Merkel: "Right, let's see. First we cut all our salaries by half - OK?"
Lagarde: "But ...."
Merkel: "THEN you in the IMF and EU start paying normal TAX on what's left, of course."
Lagarde: "But ...."
Merkel: "Then you all relocate to cheaper premises; that makes sense."
Juncker: "But ...."
Merkel: "Then the EU will have to cut the 8,000,000,000 Diplomatic Service, the 300 Press spokesmen for Schulz and we can get rid of Reding and Verhofstedt for a start - not sure if we really need Schulz and his army of secretaries either ..... ..."
Juncker: "But ...."
Merkel: "Oh DO SHUT UP JUNCKER: this is all your fault in the first place .... why did you have to ADMIT that you are a serial liar? BEING one is ONE thing, but ADMITTING IT? GOTT IM HIMMEL!"
Juncker: "But ...."
Merkel: "And we replace the 9000 chauffeur-driven cars with pushbikes - you could do with losing a few kilos Juncker, you fat slob ....you look more like Hermann Goering every day .... "
Juncker: "But ...."
Merkel: "And if you pinch my bum ONCE more in one of your drunken binges I'll have you: cameras or no cameras."
Juncker: "Well, ....."
Merkel: "Right: that'll do for a start, OH, I nearly forgot: no more Europarliament pfaffing about up and down to Strasbourg, right?"
Hollande: "But ...."
Merkel: "Listen, Flanby; you know the deal: I talk; you listen - as we always do. .... right - where's our coffee, and time for the photocall ...