Perkins & the New Car Tax

Morning Perkins! I say, you do look a bit glum today!

It's my car tax, Sir.

Car tax, Perkins? What are you wittering about?

Well, I've got to pay an extra £220 more than last year.

Ah, but you've obviously got a polluting gas-guzzler, Perkins.

Well, it's a perfectly ordinary large family saloon, Sir.

Perhaps Perkins, but we have to cut CO2 emissions.

Will you tell the Americans, Chinese, Indians, Brazilians and all the rest or shall I, Sir?

Come on Perkins, don't be facetious. You know it makes sense. Britain should lead the way.

But nobody said in 2001 when I bought the car that the govt would whack on this punitive tax, Sir. It's retrospective. That's not fair.

Fair, Perkins? Fair? Goodness me! What naive innocence you sometimes display!

But it ISN'T fair, Sir. It's punishing the lower middle-classes once again.

Come on, Perkins, you are hardly lower middle-class! Not with your Civil Service pension!

Well, in this affair I feel solidarity with the middle-class ... Many won't be able to afford to run a car ...

Well, they can change their cars, can't they? That's what I do every year!

The resale value of my car has plummeted, Sir. I will lose thousands if I sell it.

But you should have thought about that before, Perkins!

Excuse me, Sir, but how could I predict in 2001 that the gove would whack an extra 220 onto my car tax?

But Perkins, we must do something for the environment. Besides, we need the money! The numbers of unemployed are about to skyrocket, and then there are the billions in compensation to those let down by shoddy supervision by the FSA of Equity Life, not to mention the vast costs of all these trials that are about to collapse over this anonymous witness fiasco. No, we need every penny we can screw, I mean get ...

So it is yet another stealth tax, then?

Well, it's hardly stealthy, is it Perkins! Not when some 9 million drivers are suddenly going to be hit with an extra £220 bill.

But people are already suffering from prices rising all over the place. It's adding insult to injury.

Exactly Perkins. There are so many rises that this one will get swamped by the rest. People will hardly notice.

Well, I've noticed, Sir.

Yes, but you are hardly typical, are you Perkins?

I'm not so sure, Sir. "The Daily Mail" seems to share my views, and that is read by millions.

Really Perkins, you disappoint me. "The Daily Mail"!

Well, it does seem to reflect the views of Lower Middle England, Sir.

But Perkins, we can't run government based on the views of the lower middle-class! Really!

But isn't that a critical part of our electorate, Sir! If they don't vote for us, then how on earth can we win the next election? This sort of move is political suicide, surely?

Perkins, you don't seem to realize; the PM is already doing a fine imitation of the Bismarck after its rudder was shot off. Haven't you heard? Keep it under your hat, but Harriet Harman is being sounded out as a successor.

Harriet Harman? Excuse me, Sir. I must sit down .... could you pass me a glass of water ......