Perkins & the Subprime Fiasco


Perkins - youfre looking troubled again ...

Itfs this subprime fiasco, Sir.

You know, Perkins. I think you tend to overuse the word gfiascoh a bit ....

Well, how would you describe it, Sir?

I think gwobblehf probably does it, Perkins. And we didnft get where we are today without the occasional wobble, did we?

But shouldnft we call things by their proper names, Sir?

Ifm not sure if the word gshouldh is all that useful in politics, Perkins.

But this subprime business is appalling, Sir!

But why on earth are you so het up, Perkins? Have you been reading the gDaily Mailh again?

Look Sir, correct me if Ifm wrong, but these loans were made to people who could only have afforded to pay them back if a whole raft of conditions had all come to pass. Theyfd have had to increase their incomes to pay the loans back, inflation would have had to stay low, the house market would have had to remain buoyant and so on. In fact, NONE of those things applied or were likely to and those who marketed these loans must have KNOWN they were built on sand!

Well, you may be partly ....

So why were they called gsubprimeh? Surely that means any kind of loans apart from "prime" loans?

Well, ...

Whereas in fact, they are almost all absolutely useless rather than merely gsubprimeh. Why in fact didnft they call them gAbsolutely Worthless Shite Loans sold by Greedy, Overpaid Fat Cat Bankers Overseen by Totally Incompetent and Complicit Wankers in the Federal Reserve Bankh?

Well, that wouldnft have fitted on the contracts for a start!

But itfs such lies, Sir!

Now Perkins, there is a difference between Lies and Good Marketing. For goodness sake! How could anyone have sold any of those loans with a name like yours?

At least it would have been honest, Sir.

Ah Perkins! Sometimes you remind me of my long-distant youth .....